A urologist is NOT a “butt doctor.” I get this question a lot, usually as I am preparing a man for his prostate exam. To be clear, I do not work with poop. So what exactly do I treat? The textbook answer is that a urologist treats disorders of the male and female urinary tract and male reproductive system. But how about some layman’s terms we can all understand.
When To Call Your Urologist
- Do you have any problems going potty, (#1 not #2)? – I’m your guy.
- Does it hurt when you go to the potty (again, we are still talking about going #1)? – I can work with this.
- Do you go to the potty too much, too little, too slowly, or literally in the middle of Target? – I can help.
- Is your pee pee red, pink, or brown instead of yellow? – Call me.
- Do you have kidney stones, kidney cancer, or kidney blockage? – Yes, yes, and yes.
What about dude problems??
- Do you have difficulty performing? Maybe the old dog doesn’t have the same get up and go? – I have medication for that.
- Feeling a lump down there while you’re in the shower? – Call me today.
- Did your father have prostate cancer and you want a check-up? – Lower your pants and place your elbows on the table please.
- Having trouble making a baby? – You’re not alone. Let me see what I can do.
- Do you have 3 daughters and future wedding budgets have you seeing red? – How about a no-needle, no scalpel vasectomy?
Does this clear things up a bit? My grandmother didn’t speak to me for a few months after she mistakenly thought I said I was going to be a neurologist instead of a urologist. She didn’t get it. But, as I explain to people,
“I help people pee and have sex, it’s the most noble profession there is.”